The Plan
It's only a matter of time before the truth gets out, so I'll share this with all of you now first hand, before the press gets a hold of it.
I had been planning this race for over a year, and like all high level tricycle racers, I knew I'd have to be in the best shape of my life to take on a young up an comer, like Brian Titus in a race of this magnitude and importance. Therefore preparation and deceit would be the mainstay of my race strategy (yes, I heard that remark, "sounds like nothing has changed there Barry" from the back of the room).
So for the past three months I've been doing tricycle hill work and repeats, toning and training my fast twitch muscles for this event. In order to get the biggest advantage possible, I decided to leave the race announcement to the last second. You see Brian is a business guy, just like me, and business guys are born with that competitive spirit. We all hate to lose, so the less he knew about the race, the less preparation he would have, and the odds of victory being all mine would increase dramatically.
The Race
I'll cut to the chase here and get right down to the nitty gritty. Brian and I were like horses in the starting gate, snorting, on edge, thrashing about, anxious to unleash our tremendous pent up energy and settle the debate as to who was in the best shape of their lives, once and for all. The countdown started at 10 and we were supposed to start at zero, but I decided to take advantage of the fact the Tour de Garrison race commissaire was a no show, and bolted by the time the countdown hit 8. I knew a quick start would be demoralizing to Brian, and my devious plan worked. I quickly created a large gap to avoid Brian from sitting on my 3 wheels and blowing by me at the finish. During my much celebrated race career, I was always known as an "off the front type of guy" and even though I've mellowed over the years, I was adamant that I would put "my stamp" on this race. It was a wonderful feeling rolling down the parking lot, man and tricyle feeling like one, all cyclinders firing in perfect sequence, I was once again after many years, at the top of my game. As I made the turn and faced the long climb toward the finish I did a quick over the shoulder check to see exactly where Brian was, knowing I would need a substantial lead to hold him off. You see I had completed some pre race research on the web and it was evident from posted results that Brians strength was hill climbing. After the quick glance, I knew victory and the associated glory would be mine forever. Brian was way behind and complaining that he was lost and couldn't see. What a lame excuse! Actually there could have been a smidgen of truth to his claim, because I made sure when I handed him a pair of race specific Tifosi cycling glasses, that his had the darkest tint available. Just when everything was falling into place something went dramatically wrong. No, not a mechanical, my trusty Giant Team Advanced SL, full carbon tricycle with aero wheels performed flawlessly. It was my big head, my ego, my showmanship that would lead to my ultimate downfall. With a huge lead, with Brian claiming to be lost, all my better judgement (trust me, I don't have much to begin with) abandoned me. I decided I would humiliate Brian by riding backwards with my hands in the air as I crossed the finish line. While clipping along at top speed, I spun the Giant Team trike around on a dime and started to make my way to fame riding backwards. I was caught up in the moment, but the moment that never came. I had visualized for months the cheering crowds, the flashing lights, the reporters waiting to get a piece of me after the great win....but, out of nowhere, Brian came speeding toward me, and I could see the glowing red pupils of a man obsessed with greatness, shining through his coal black Tifosi lenses. I knew at that moment I was toast. He came along side as the two of us approached the finish line and then to add insult to almost injury, he bumped me (he says it was an accident, hey I'm a liar too...lol) as he sprinted by me, and I saw the rest of the race, and all my worldly dreams go down the tubes as I lay sprawled on my back in the parking lot, with my $4000 tricycle laying by my side. This evening, Brian "Titan" Titus was victorious and I would lament the loss for at least the next twelve months!
The Learnings
I'm still smarting from the embarassment. Every time I think of the race, how it unfolded, and how my inflated ego got in the way of a Major Tour win, my blood boils. Another notch on my belt? Unfortunately, not this year. But take heed Brian Titus, CEO of Garrison Brewery, and winner of the first Tour de Garrison, I'm gunning for you, this time next year, you'll be road kill....lol.
BMan Misener
